Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
