if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
