went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
