i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
