Apparently you make a good broom.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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