Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
