Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
