I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
