Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
