I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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