It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
No I am not eating basil off your cock
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Randomize
