One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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