I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize