I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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