I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
