He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
