Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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