its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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