party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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