i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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