what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
