hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
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so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
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thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
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