I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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