I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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