I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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