just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
