i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
