from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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