Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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