I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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