I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
