so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
