She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
