Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Only a mothe r could love this liver
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
