I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
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