just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
