I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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