your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
