FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It's never too late to be topless.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize