i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
