soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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