Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
