that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
