allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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