he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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