So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
