"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i already hear my dad disowning me
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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