Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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