If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize