Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
