nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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