Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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