I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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