He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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