So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
