I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
