oh god the rape fog is back!
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
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I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
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Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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