i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
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You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
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I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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