If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
That accounts for only three of the penises
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
