Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
