nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
